Days 11 & 12 of 28 Day Soul Coaching Program

Day 11: "I am loved and I am loveable. " " I love deeply and fully, and I am loved deeply and full." -- from the book Soul Coaching by Denise Linn.

 The exercise for today is to examine our relationship and emotional habits and patterns. My interactions in my relationships has changed  over the years. Today I am more thoughtful about entering into relationships, cautious, and protective of my heart. I have recently divided to think about engaging in a new romantic relationship. No, there are no current prospects, nor am I seeking, just being open to the idea of it. In the process of becoming more open to the idea, I found crusty layers of self-protection formed under the tectonic pressures of my last relationships.

I had been happily preparing my new home and working and engaging with friends and told myself (convincingly) that I was really quite all right not being in relationship for a while. Then I got a reading from a dear intuitive friend. I broke down as she began to speak of the love my heart longed for. Of my desire to be cherished and nurtured and respected for the glorious woman I am. She saw right through my brave front and spoke to my heart. It was freeing just to admit it was what I yearned for.

She gave me an exercise that I found it curious, sometimes challenging and a lot of fun: 'Sing in the shower,' she commanded. 'Sing to your future lover. Sing about all of the amazing qualities he has. Tell him what you need and how you will love him. Tell him all your desires. Sing as if he has been away on a long journey and is now returning home to you, at last. Sing, even if your heart is breaking.' I smiled. I could do that.

So I have been singing. Sometimes in tune, sometimes, not so much. "My man is coming to me," I sing. "He loves me endlessly. He treats me tenderly. He can't stop caressing me..." Sometimes I giggle coming up with words that end in -ly. Sometimes I shed tears as the deep longing washes over me. But I feel comforted in knowing he is coming across lifetimes to me at the right and perfect time for us both.

Day 12: "In the center of my being, there is always stillness and peace." -- from the book Soul Coaching by Denise Linn 

Today is about being still. Sometimes being still is so easy and sometimes excruciating -- usually when I look around and think of all the things I could be doing... Today, the last day of water week I started out feeling anxious and depressed. Two states I am quite familiar with. But, today I decided I had had enough and I cried out to the angels, "I am finished with this! Whatever it is, whatever I need to know about it, you will have to show me." I was tired of living in fear and feeling like I have to shoulder it all alone.

The message to me was, "Movement!" After finishing coffee out on my back porch and listening to the birds I went in and opened up the quartz crystal root chakra singing bowl I had ordered and started to make it sing. I let it reverberate throughout my body and the house until the sound evaporated into the silence of the morning. I went to get dressed so I could go out and pick dewberries. Dewberries are luscious purple-black berries resembling blackberries in taste and look. They grow wild on vines that trail along the ground. They have a fairly short harvest period and I knew they were ripe and I had been itching to get out and pick some before they were gone. As I was getting ready to go out, three dear friends called and brightened my morning. We made plans to get together soon.

I decided to allot one hour for picking as I haven't been doing so well in the heat this week. I went to an empty lot near where I live and picked about four quarts in an hour. They were sweet and juicy from all the sun, turning my fingers blue as I picked - many of them, 'big as the end of my thumb' as my father was fond of saying. It was actually rather pleasant out as I was shaded by the tall long leaf pines that also grew in the lot. I listened to the birds singing overhead and my mouth watered as I thought about the dewberry pie I would make later.

After I finished picking berries, I decided to surround myself with beauty in all my senses and I picked fresh flowers to make several bouquets. I picked deep pink hydrangeas and heavily scented gardenias along with white yarrow and black-eyed susans. I also cut some grasses that looked a little like miniature bamboo and so bright green fern fronds.

At home I took a lovely cool shower. Feeling clean and much cooler, I made the dewberry pie thinking about how much my dad would have enjoyed a slice with a cup of good, strong coffee. Dad was known to have pie for breakfast. I'd thought of Dad as I was picking berries and later making the pie. Father's Day was next weekend and I still missed him, even after nine years.  

As I waited for the pie to bake, I made a sandwich out of organic salad greens, goat cheese and the first ripe tomatoes of the season. Yum. I even tossed a handful of dewberries into a glass of crisp white muscadine wine I had made from last years' grapes. I took the pie out of the oven and waited impatiently for it to cool. I arranged hydrangeas and gardenias, black-eyed susans and white yarrow went with the orange-red Lucifer's lilies in a bouquet for my bedroom. The ferns looked great all by themselves, so I placed them on the mantle.

As I write this I hear thunder rolling softly and a light rain begins to fall. It is a welcome sight. I think about how different the day had ended up, considering the state I was in earlier. I feet alive and at peace and fully enjoying the beauty and abundance of the earth.

I cut the still-warm pie and savoured the delicious sweet-tartness of the berries and the crunch of the crumb topping. Wish you were here to have a slice with me. I'll probably have a slice for breakfast too, with a cup of good, strong coffee. Here's to you, Dad.

Here's the recipe for my Dewberry Pie. Worth every thorny scratch!

Dewberry Pie with Crumb Topping

1 - 9 inch pie crust, hand made or frozen shell

4 cups fresh dewberries (can substitute blackberries)
2/3 cup unrefined sugar mixed with  2 tab. all purpose flour
1/2 fresh lemon

Pick over berries and place in unbaked pie shell. Mix flour and sugar together and sprinkle over berries. Juice half lemon over all.

Crumb topping:

In small bowl add:

1/4 cup unrefined sugar

2 tab. all purpose unbleached flour

2 tab. butter

Cut butter into sugar and flour with fork or pastry blender until crumbly. Sprinkle over pie and bake at 375 for 50 minutes or until bubbly. Excellent when served warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a cup of good, hot coffee. Enjoy!

My Father, Glenn Sharpe