Today is the last day of Water Week and it has been an intense emotional week. On this last day we are challenged to look at our "victimhood" thinking and to look at the types of questions we ask ourselves on a daily basis. Questions such as, "Why can't I lose weight?" or "Will I ever find a partner?" When we recognize that we are thinking these self-defeating thoughts, we can change them to what Denise terms a "noble question" such as, "How can I experience more, love, joy, vibrancy... ?"
I was afforded a very vivid look at some of my dark, defeating thoughts. In the past, I've been given to bouts of depression and anxiety and today I saw the deep feelings of fear and unworthiness that was at the core of these thoughts. I had a fairly unstructured day where I napped and played computer games. When thoughts like, "Why are you being so lazy, there's so much to do here?" I made a conscious choice to reframe those thoughts into, "How can I rest and nurture myself today?" I watched a movie and made a delicious dinner with a salad with fresh spring greens, sweet grape tomatoes and goat cheese and ramen noodle soup, a dish I've always associated with comfort food.
When I felt overwhelmed by my emotions, I remembered the quote we learned at Soul Camp; "It's just stuff, and it's just leaving!"
I also remembered something I really "got" while sitting at the foot of a giant sequoia in Sequoia National Park, "FOCUS ON THE DESIRED OUTCOME, INSTEAD OF THE PROBLEM." I think I'll print that statement out and hang it on my wall.
Blessings and Grace,
Melody
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